Sorrowing unduly for those who have passed over causes them pain, causes them to be dragged down to Earth
Death and Grieving are two serious topics which should be clearly explained as the average Westerner doesn't fully comprehend the purpose of death and grieving. These two topics can, and constantly do, cause so many problems for many and they should not. Understanding the so-called death is very important as when the physical dies that's certainly not the end of things, in fact, it's just the beginning.
Death in this world is Birth into the next, Birth and Death are the very same thing. Let me elucidate: when a baby is born and the umbilical cord is cut the baby actually dies from being part of its mother and thus experiences death from its mother as well as birth into the new world it is being delivered into. Death is something which frightens people only because they fear the unknown and think that death is painful. Fact: Death itself it totally painless whereas dying may not be.
To help you understand further, let's go through the actual process of what happens when someone is dying and actually dies, to what we can term a normal death. We are going to use a Christian in this example as it's the most popular religion for the Western person and so you will find it easier to follow.
A person (either man or woman, but let's take a man to facilitate the narration of this example) who is nearing the very point of death will start to feel a numb sensation creeping upwards from his feet towards his knees, slowly getting higher and higher. The light fades as if a cloud had passed across the face of the individual, now feeling the cold numbness, the cold as of ice creeping upwards past his hips, up to his waist. Slowly — slowly it reaches up towards his heart. He gazes about himself with eyes which are fast going blind to the physical world yet he starts to perceive shadowy figures about him. There is the rustling of strange voices, not understandable to him yet because his hearing is also changing. Sight is like seeing through a filmy gauze veil as slowly the eyes are losing their physical sight and starting to use their astral sight. (This explains why many dying people see things which to those gathered around the dying person cannot and assume the departing person is delirious as he or she cries out a name of a loved one that those around know is dead).
The cold now creeps up and strikes at his heart. With a last convulsive gasp, he finally starts to physically die as his heart stops and his lungs cease to pulse. Now conditions are speeding up because with the cessation of breathing there is the termination of oxygen to the brain. The physical body now twitches in the last nervous reactions — twitches without actually feeling the twitches — without any pain. He is now beyond pain, beyond any feeling in the body. At this point of actual death the Angel of Death will place its hand on the physical body's forehead to release the spirit within.
The individual dying will have perceived loved ones around him, not those loved ones from the physical world that are now mourning the departed, but loved ones from the astral world. This is quite normal as these loved ones or special helpers wait by the deathbed of everyone so that just as soon as the astral form starts to separate from the dying physical body the loved ones or special helpers are there to give assistance. It's much the same process with any birth, there are people waiting to assist the new-born baby in this world, so you are never alone at the point of the so-called death. Death to Earth is Birth into the astral world and the necessary trained attendants are ALWAYS there to provide their specialised services. So there is no need to fear the so-called death. Gradually the Silver Cord thins and parts whilst the Golden Bowl is then shattered so that the astral body is completely free from the physical body and allowed to move on. The newly coalesced astral body hesitates a moment, then gradually with a slight jerk the astral body is in motion, going faster and faster into the astral planes assisted by those loved ones.
Note: It can take up to three earth days for the silver cord to be broken and the Golden bowl shattered; thus completing total freedom for the astral body, so the physical body should not be cremated during this 3 day period.
If this particular man during his lifetime has been an ardent follower of his religion his transition won't be so straight forward. He had not believed in reincarnation as he was a Christian. He had believed in the resurrection of the body at the Day of Judgment. He believed that all bodies buried or burned eventually would be collected together and clothed again with flesh; even after thousands of years. Now in the astral form he is lost, lost and wandering, a victim to the fallacious beliefs to which he has subscribed for so long. Perhaps he has been an Atheist, not believing in anything, but he knows he is still alive, alive in a different shape and realm of existence. In this case, he will perceive a black fog much like a thick black tar that traps him because of his disbelief in any afterlife. When a little doubt about his beliefs comes into the awareness of our man, he then starts to perceive a facet of that belief.
In this scenario, our Christian is perceiving angels. Desperately he fastens on the idea of angels, reluctantly he throws aside the thought of resurrection, and yet what was resurrection to him? He is alive, isn't he, albeit in a different state? But the Christian can see angels, can't he? So, what was this talk about resurrection? Let him live for the moment he thinks, and with this thought he seems to drop to the ground onto his feet and the ground to him feels very solid. The ground feels soft and springy, warm to bare feet. But as soon as he touches the ground the veil of doubt is drawn aside. He looks about him, angels are flying through the air, cherubim are sitting on clouds, great choirs are singing with monotonous repetition. Away in the distance he sees a golden light. Away in the distance he sees the Pearly Gates.
Swiftly he moves into action, running across the springy turf, inexorably drawing nearer to the Pearly Gates. At last, after an unspecified time, he reaches those monumental edifices which towers so high above him. A gleaming figure outside with a flashing sword of golden light barred the way. "Who are you?" asked a voice. The recently departed from earth gives his name and waits. From just inside the gate another sparkling figure opens a great book and moistening his thumb with his lips to aid rifling through the pages: "Ah yes" said the second voice, "yes, we expected you here. Enter!" The Great Book of Records is then closed, the Pearly Gates are opened so he can enter. Enter he does as a young naked man.
For some time the newly arrived visitor is in a state of ecstasy at the realisation of all that his religion has taught him: Angels, Cherubim, Seraphim, etc. The heavenly host singing in multi-layered choirs, St Peter the Recording Angel and the Great Book of all Knowledge, wherein is kept the record of every soul upon Earth in which is recorded the good and the bad of every person who has ever lived. Gradually, though, this newest visitor begins to feel uneasy as doubt creeps in due to inconsistencies.
He soon realises that this "reality" is not real, but just like a pantomime is within a stage show. So now he questions things, where had he gone wrong? Was it something wrong with his religion? Then a thought comes to him about resurrection? Well, he thinks to himself, is this as un-genuine as resurrection? What about resurrection? How could dead bodies that have long since rotted away be reassembled at the last trump of a great bugle? Where would all those people stand, how would they be clothed, how would they be fed? And this angelic host, this glimpse of Heaven is a disappointing place! "I am beginning to doubt my senses" he thinks. No sooner has he said that to himself than there is a great clap, as a clap of thunder, and the whole edifice fall around him with broken shards of the Pearly Gates and the golden light extinguishes. But — stop! Now a greater light comes into play.
The recently deceased individual, now a visitor, looks about in awe. This was more like it. Running towards him he sees people whom he has known in his last life on Earth, people he has loved. He sees a beloved pet coming towards him and jumping up at him and shouting with delight. Another figure comes towards him and says: "Ah, so now you are released from your delusions. Now you have reached a true home, the Land of the Golden Light. Here you will sojourn for a while — while you and you alone — decide what you want to do next."
So it is that many religions lead one astray. So it is that one can read of any religion and learn thereby, but the true wisdom. Once you have passed over you should call for help and it WILL arrive. This is all done by telepathy and don't worry that here on this Earth you don't know telepathy as when you're in the astral plane the ability is automatically restored. Friends will appear and help you on your way, as you are NEVER left alone.
One of the biggest curses of modern-day life is the attitude of the undertakers and funeral home people because they — no doubt for reasons of commerce — try to pretend that one's loved one is not dead, but merely sleeping. These undertakers paint the dead faces, they wave the dead hair, prop up the dead body as if simulating a person who is drowsing on a cushion of satin. It seems to be a universal conspiracy in present day life to conceal grief as if there is something shockingly shameful in showing emotion at a loss.
Often grief is tinged with definite hostility, hostility that a person has died and left one. Now, just think about that and, irrational though it seems, it is very true! There is some sort of subconscious hostility towards a dead person. Often, too, there is a feeling of guilt. Could we have done more for the suffering person? Could we have in any way saved their life? Could we have eased their suffering? Well, if a person puts us in the wrong we often resent that person so when a death occurs there is much soul-searching and who is to blame? What more could have been done? How could they have done this thing to me? How could they have gone out of my life? Undertakers go to fantastic lengths to pretend that the corpse is just a sleeping body. They falsify values and in Dr Rampa's opinion it is very wrong indeed to shove a body in some unnatural attitude, unnatural for death that is, just pretending that they are just sleeping. We should have a new concept of death as great men like Winston Churchill were not afraid to shed tears when the occasion warranted it. Winston Churchill, it is said, could shed tears of emotion and tears of grief, and he was a better man for it.
Now you ask what could be done to help a person suffering grief through the loss of a partner or relative — we are speaking of the real grief and not of this hypocrisy about a loved one because often young people find a great relief in the loss or death of an old tiresome parent; They feel ashamed of their relief and so they rant on about the loss of a loved one. The first thing to do is to face that death has occurred, to face that things are now different. There will be red tape and interfering officials who will want all sorts of papers signed and countersigned. Heartless officials of the country, as well as greedy relatives, will want their own share of whatever legacy is left.
One can help a lot by listening to the person who has been bereaved, listen and let the grieving person talk, let the person talk out their sorrows, let them discuss the past. In this way guilt will be drained off, grief will be drained off and the one who has died will be freer. It is quite essential that a person be helped to get over grief, it doesn't do to let a person stay alone grieving, mourning with a hard straight face showing nothing to the outside world because such grief bottled up inside one appears somewhere. It is like a steam boiler where you can't screw down the safety valve and keep turning up the heat — something will burst eventually! A person who is overcome with grief that is kept bottled up will later suffer from ulcers or severe bowel trouble, or it can even start arthritis. In extreme cases schizophrenia can occur; these are all medical facts. These things happen, but they would not happen if there was more understanding of the nature of grief, it would not happen if neighbours would help by letting the person talk, by keeping silent themselves, except for sympathetic noises at the appropriate times. How many times do you hear a bereaved person say "if only I had acted differently he/she would be with us today." There are other cases where a bereaved person will rant at the dead person, ranting on about why did they die and leave them or what am I going to do now?
One of the worst features of the funeral service is the eulogy where someone speaks a whole lot of rot about the departed. It's amazing that no one who has ever died is bad. People search around for someone who can tell a whole lot of lies saying: how good the dead person was and what a dreadful loss it will be to the community but that is bad, you know, it makes a bereaved person think that he or she has lost something far, far greater than is really the case. There are often cases where a husband loses his wife, perhaps in childbirth. The man, now a father, has undisguised hostility for the poor innocent baby who in being born quite inadvertently caused the death of the mother. So there is a father ruined and a baby ruined right at the start. If people would only clear up their conceptions about death and grieving it would help. Now grief — what is it? Often it is just selfishness! Does that shock you? It is often opposition to any change. People do not like a change that is permanent, and so when death occurs, well, that is very permanent, that is a considerable change, and resentment and hostility occur.
What you should do is this: help a person who is bereaved by encouraging that person to talk, and if the person weeps so much the better. In weeping the emotions are released and there is then no risk to one's sanity. You must talk gently, but firmly to the person, telling them it's okay to weep, telling them not to bottle up their emotions, telling them that — yes, they have had a terrible loss, but soon they too will be moving to the other side of the curtain which divides the dead of this world from the living of the next world.
If you are a good psychologist — the best psychologists come from the homes and not from the offices of so-called professional men — you can do a lot to help those who need your help. I do want to mention here that, whereas people should be encouraged to give vent to their grief in order to get it out of their system they should not be encouraged to persist in grief because such an action is merely grieving for their own loss and not genuine grief. It is self-pity and such is not to be encouraged.
As it can take up to three earth days for the silver cord to be severed and the Golden Bowl to be shattered — this is when the astral body is completely released from it's dead physical body — grieving should not last more than three days else you create delays for the person who has recently departed. Your grieving provides unwanted 'anchors' which retard the recently departed progress. Read Beyond the Tenth chapter one.
I fully understand that this may be very hard for you, especially when you've just lost a loved one, but you are not helping them by continuing your grieving passed three days. If you truly loved the departed person stop fretting, as you will see them again in the astral world when it's your time, so just have patience. You will ALWAYS see those who you truly love again! Just remain patient until it's your time.
Let not thy sorrows obtrude on to those who have left this World.
Name no names, for to name those who have passed beyond this realm is to disturb their peace.
Wherefore it is that those who are mourned suffer greatly from those who mourn. "Let there be Peace."
...It also makes Good Sense, the Law of Libel being what it is! Wherefore I say unto you Names shall not be named.
PAX VOBISCUM (peace with you)